I like to think that most of us who are bookishly inclined have heard all the pro vs anti e-reader arguments by now. I work in a bookshop, I also own a Kindle (purchased before I started working in the bookshop, admittedly). Having owned the Kindle for over a year, I have to say I still buy more physical books. I find my e-reader invaluable for long train journeys where I can get through 2 or 3 books but don’t want to be carrying them all around in my bag once I’m finished, yet on a daily basis I can find myself drooling at the foil, embossing or matte finish of a particularly lovely looking hardback. It’s fair to say that I believe there will always be a market for both forms of reading and that I believe it is more important that stories are read, than what they’re read on or with. What I am interested now is how will the two compare when put to more unorthodox challenges…
Which is Better if You Have OCD?
I am very precious about the physical condition of my books, particularly those that I lend out. While I marvel at people who can dog ear pages and scribble in margins, I have to wince at even the slightest spine crease – it’s just in my nature. E-books allow me to share and recommend books without the risk of my having to end a friendship over a dented cover. I like not making all my friends hate me.
WINNER: Kindle
Which is Better as a Seduction Technique?
Relationships and friendships blossom over a human fondness for snooping. Catching a potential partner engrossed in a book, you have a pre-made pick up line when you ask them if their choice is any good or not, getting embroiled into a lengthy discussion and then ending up married… I’m not really good at relationship strategies. Admittedly, there is nothing stopping you attempting the same move on a Kindle user, but it seems somehow more invasive to ask someone what they’re reading on a their Kindle, in much the same way as you wouldn’t go up to someone sitting on the train writing a document on their laptop and ask to read that. Physical books can also allow you to potentially screen your mates and suss out in advance whether your tastes correlate. If you catch them reading The Game, it can also serve as a bit of a warning about quite what you might be getting yourself into…
WINNER: Hardback
Which is More Useful in a Fight?
Imagine you are walking down the street reading one dusky evening and find yourself confronted by an aggressive man who demands that you give him all your expensive belongings. Firstly, you should perhaps take a lesson from Stephen King and learn that reading while walking can sometimes lead to violent or unfortunate accidents, but secondly, which would be more use as a weapon of choice? A Kindle has the benefit of being a moderately expensive piece of kit that could be used as a bartering tool if your aggressor even knows what it is, but a nice sturdy hardback to the face of the attacker with a chaser of inexplicably agonising papercuts would be so much more effective, wouldn’t it? Wait… uh… I mean… violence is bad.
WINNER: Hardback
Which is Better During a Zombie Apocalypse?
During a zombie apocalypse you may be thinking there are more pressing matters than your book format and you would probably be right, but it’s my blog so I can indulge whatever tenuous examples I like! Much like the fight example, a Kindle lacks the sturdiness or sharp edges to be of much use as a weapon, although providing the apocalypse has wi-fi/3G capabilities you might be able to download a guide for fighting the hordes in roughly two minutes or so. Zombies probably don’t have the same weakness for paper cuts, which removes any advantage for the hardback. Realistically, you’re doomed either way. All you can do is pray that your love of e-books hasn’t caused the bookshop in your high street to close down – now that could’ve been a useful hideout when trying to battle the undead…
WINNER: Draw
So from these examples it looks like the hardback is the winner and obviously these scenarios are the only ones that truly matter – let the publishing industry rejoice, there is hope for us yet!